ONE step Closer.
Today was a big day for our little Familia. For 2 years now my son Dominic has been going to Dr.s appts, Speech therapy, school evaluations, psychologists ect... He is a twin and has as far it's concern he is a normal 5 year boy. He is sweet and silly and kind hearted. I love my little man. Most of our family and friends know that he has always been "slow to speak". We were told "boys are different" they "don't talk as much" But, even though his progress has been significant, we are still struggling with simple directions and tasks. We were advised to have him tested for OT (occupational Therapy) by the Speech Therapist.
Sensory Integration Disorder:
simply put is when our brain lack the ability to ORGANIZE, AND PROCESS any sensory input. When the flow of sensation is a traffic jam.
While most SID children share a couple of the disorders,
Dominic has been diagnosed with Vestibular System Sensory Disorder (movement gravity).The vestibular system paces the functioning (meaning all other senses that are "ok")of the ENTIRE Central Nervous System and prepares it for other sensory inputs. It can tell us if we are moving, what direction, a physical reference and helps us make visual sense of our surroundings.
In Dominic's case, we read some research that indicates that "Vestibular Process in the lower subCortial levels of the brain processes including speech and language. Negative experiences with movement caused by a vestibular system can cause children to have not only have speech issues but social and emotional development as well. All this causing language to not be developed at the expected rate"(Stilwell, Crowe, Mcallum).
Along with Sensory Integration Disorder we were also told that he his difficulties with his
Central Auditory Processing Deficiency.
What is a Central Auditory Processing Disorder?:
"A Central Auditory Processing Disorder is an impaired ability to attend to, discriminate, remember, recognize, or comprehend auditory information in individuals who typically exhibit normal intelligence and normal hearing.
When a person is exposed to a sound, the ears detect the sound and transmit the information to the auditory part of the central nervous system. In various parts of the central nervous system the sound stimulus is processed. In the end, the listener will know the direction from which the sound comes, identify the type of sound, be able to separate the sound from background noise, and interpret the sound. The listener stores the memory of this sound stimulus and develops a mental sound library, which he uses to help him evaluate, interpret, and utilize new sound information that he experiences in the future.
Source:(http://addadhdadvances.com/capd.html)
Now that we have the insight, we can now continue to fully support all of our dedicated Therapist that we love so much. There is going to be a lot of work ahead of us and it will take time. However, we know that our Heavenly Father loves us and has given us very supportive families and friends. We feel SO BLESSED to have Dominic in our lives and we know that we all are going to be just fine. xoxox
I don't know if I could have done what she did. Move to a new country, learn a new language and culture. All so we can have a better life. As a child I knew I had a dad that did not want to live with us. I knew that my parents divorce was a tender subject to me and my mom. I know she forgive him but the distance of many nations and schedules ultimately made him a stranger. In my years as a crazy and wild teenager communication was down to birthdays and Christmas. I always had a hard time giving him a place in my life. I did not know the sound of this voice when he would call. My throat would tighten up and shake because I did not know what to say.
I knew I have loved him very much. My DNA scream to me all the love and traits we share. But How can I deal this my emotional displacement. It shook me to my core. I knew to just let it be. Let him take that place he wanted in life and knew that one day we just might be ok. When I got married my grandfather walked me down the aisle. It's just the way things were. I can recall calling him and letting him know that I was pregnant with my first child. I told him that now he has the chance to be in my life more than ever. That it will take me time to digest this relationship that was absent for 25 years. He understood. He was a mild and soft spoken giant. He gave me space and time. I raised a family in the meantime. He never gave up reaching out. I always respond but I was busy building my family.
Through rumors from family members I was told he was "sick". All the details of his in and out and clinic and doctors was never clear. I spoke to him and asked him and he would always say that he was fine. Working on getting second opinions. I hear that sometimes he was going well and other times he was in the hospital for weeks. I would keep up by calling as often as I could. His voice never changed. Always cool and calm. It was a comfort that keep me in denial. I don't know if he meant to be that way, but I guess it's natural for a parent to shield and protect your only child. I wish he wouldn't have. I knew that it was time to see him. It was a logistic nightmare for me ( a mother of 4) to make my way down to see him. But I did. With my husband and first child I knew we were running out of time and he needed to meet his Sofia. I remember him that late night we saw each other last summer, it had been 17yrs since we were standing in the same place. I felt a young daughter again. Now a mom at 34, I felt like a kid again by his side. My heart and soul recognized him like it always had. It was comforting being in his presence. He voice was soft and kind. A bit of a surprise. My week with him went by fast. It felt right. I felt closer to him. And I can also see that we did not have long. Little by little we talk and shared weekly or monthly updates. Sometimes it was just pictures of random weekly activities. I knew that would always make him happy. He was never pushy but I know if given the chance he would have nagged me to call or email more. It was not his nature to be overbearing. He just allowed our relationship to grow naturally. He maybe that is why he tried to by more "time" by going through chemo. He did not share this info with me. In retrospect I wish I did. I had no idea that later that month he would be gone. 
I am lucky to have not lost many loved ones in my life until now. I can't help but to feel that there are thousands of UNfinished conversations that will never be. I cry and mourn what could have been. Most people miss the past the memories they hold. They are lucky. I am LUCKY TOO! I know that. I cherish what little we had. I love him. I have always loved him. He lives through me. We share so many habits, likes, manners, looks... I am his girl. Forever. I am grateful for the lesson in my life he has taught me while he was here on earth. I now see that he never gave up and letting me know that I am loved and thought of often. To always let all your loved ones know how much they mean to you. I am learning that time to show kindness and love is now. Tell them every time, and in every way. So I will never have to mourn what could have been.
